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Money Where The Mouth Is

inco14

I’m as worried about the financial crisis in SEND funding as the next SENCo.  I’m following my Twitter feed and the news and seeing the same things that we are all seeing – real terms funding for students with additional needs has dwindled to crisis point and it doesn’t look set to improve.  No doubt, increased funding is absolutely necessary in order to ensure the best education… no, the safety, wellbeing and any education… for our SEND children and this sits within the wider context of a reduction in funding and resources for those with disabilities in adulthood and the crisis in the NHS.  It is all very bleak.  I saw, as I’m sure many reading this did, some head teacher speaking on the news saying that the last thing he’d want is to be turning SEND students away because the school can’t afford them.  Afford them?  What are schools…

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Celebratory Fizz

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I finally actually knocked back a couple of glasses of champagne this evening. It has been, I am actually going to use the f bomb here, a fucking awful year. Tried hard with childcare and school over the last year for my son, but have been complete failures and been ripping my hair out wondering if there are other things to be concerned about and going on for my son. Well he has fucking done it, finally going full time at school next week, I don’t want to get my hopes up too much because could have another setback. Also finally cracked open the champagne as well to toast good health to my mum, 70 years young last week! I think she is looking forward to getting some of her life back in future to do other things than childcare for me for once, but we shall see…

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Feelings

Feelings in reverse order (Thursday 21st June, the longest day literally until now)

Want some kind of life change, knowing that some things can’t change, one thing isn’t changing quickly enough and then after getting through completing something that can bring on a change that I am disatisfied with, but starting to already feel disatisfied with the potential new thing ha in the words of Bono & U2 ‘I still haven’t found what I am looking for’ ha

A few moments peace in our garden earlier today, when we first moved to the property it was the thing I liked least about the new place, but with a few changes and things added feels much better and actually is relaxing to be in. Far from perfect, but better.

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Thanks for those that keep visiting the  page and equally to the unlikers, ha had a better night’s sleep last night compared to last couple of nights and strange experience from the night before. Shadow people in the form of what I initially thought was my son, childlike form, neurological phenomen or paranormal who knows? Either way it was unsettling, she’s nuts you think? Yep, but who cares?

Drained, hoping to get more sleep, nice to see one of my son’s dreams come true today and he got to see his favourite steam train, the Flying Scotsman go pass our local station today. He also had a great gymnastics session, despite the initial setback of changing clubs earlier in the year. I actually think he has progressed lots. Just need to work on my current mindset, which feels pretty low and possibly change jobs at some point

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I did manage to hold it together for the afternoon, son enjoyed his garden time and play in his mud pit, water table, chalking and watering the plants. However, just as depression is difficult in the sunshine as in the expection should be you are jolly and happy, night times are hard to switch off

Apologies for no posts for a while, well nothing of real substance as of late. I am struggling with anxiety and slight depression again, although not as bad as I experienced a good few years ago. My son’s schooling has not helped, and although I think he is making huge improvements and progress myself. Yet, I got a whiney email from his teacher a few days ago about my son being unsettled, despite informing them on Monday he had just recovered from an earache and could they be mindful about that. Even perhaps get the school nurse to have a look at it, and yes, he was well enough to go as he had no temperature and had been giving him pain relief for it, and on top of that dealing with the workplace stress and my MIL being back in hospital again after the third time within the last month it has all been too much and it’s setting me back. You could say I am whining too, but can only take so much and having a break. Have to say it’s easier to feel negative in the winter, when the weather is sunny the two things just don’t go together.

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New Blog

Okay I did promise a new blog sometime, and it has been a long time coming. It is now the school holidays again, and to be honest it is a relief. My son’s behaviour has stabilised at school, although there has been one alleged incident on his first school excursion with his current school, but call me cynical I actually felt some of that was exaggerated for effect and the timing felt a bit off actually as received news of it shortly after we inquired why my son had received a black eye at school. I don’t think he was hit or anything, but am concerned he had an accident at school and it went unnoticed, I don’t know how it could go unnoticed as my son is like a footballer when it comes to pain and can be quite a drama queen. I was not impressed with the school’s response and deflecting attention away from this by citing an alleged incident, in fact I was starting to believe it is a bit discriminatory due to the school’s feelings they do not have the resources to manage my son’s unidentified SEN needs (again not sure if he has any additional needs or not, but it is clear he has not found the school environment one easy to transition to). Despite this setback and both his father and my annoyance with it, he has continued to progress at school on an upward curve and his hours will gradually increase when he returns to school after the holidays. I also believe he is just finally settling into his new home and surroundings.

We have spent the weekend mainly gardening, as well as my partner doing trips to see his mum, she is yo-yoing in and out of hospital again. I won’t say all how I feel about that, but it is not easy and fear how my son will react to constantly spending less time with his father, but I hope my son is more resilient than I give him credit for, but we shall see. Discovered a new local park over the weekend, a short walk from the town centre, which is handy and my son tried holiday club again today, this time success! I am very relieved and hope he has a equally good time when he goes again.

As for me it looks like some potential benign tumour growth(s) have occurred again, it is very likely that they will be benign again and this type of growth rarely signals cancer. I will be having further investigations in the summer, so keep your fingers and toes crossed. I am a little anxious about it mainly as I am not the greatest patient and didn’t really want to be going through this rigmarole again, but I know it could be worse.

Take care and wishing you a pleasant June!

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We are where we are

So we are where we are – by the way I hate that term.

After the monsoon of an Easter holiday, which my family all took their turns in covering and my son got to spend some quality time with all of us, and even tried out one morning at a new holiday club, which went so so. It was not incident free, but he admitted he was nervous to try something new without me and he seemed to be doing OK, well without an incident until a hour and half into the morning. However, looked like usual awkwardness from him, then lashing out and running away, so we have to accept there maybe some kind of autism thing going on, but clueless to triggers other than not keen on change/routine change. However, on the plus side the holiday club said he is welcome back despite his difficulties, which is nice to hear after all this time as most don’t want to know.

However, he seems to be progressing on an upward curve at school, and his teacher wants a meeting with us to update us on his progress and I hope his hours increase, but we shall see. To be honest I am struggling and feeling overwhelmed by all these people demanding our time, and this support being offered seems to feel like more breakdown inducing than helpful. My work situation is dire, will not go into details, but whether I struggle to fulfil and maintain my hours or not will not make a damn difference with the situation that we have been forced into, and yes, it was my birthday the other day. So I am another year older and unfortunately made a discovery a couple days after getting a year older that I may have another physical issue with my body recurring, just what I need. I had an endometrial polypectomy about a year before I conceived my son, yes, which probably helped a lot with letting me have a child finally, but I am just spotting similar signs again and well I am not the best patient, and rather this is not the case, but we shall see. Off to the doc I go.

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Relief or Cry?

The family dramas of recent months have been decreasing, in terms of managing my son’s behaviour and my own emotions towards them, but still more issues than I would like. I still do not see it as the ‘crisis’ my son’s previous school was alluding to, although some may disagree, but he has handled things better than some people may have expected from him. However, the continual changes to his school timetable are not helping, and yes, I know there are issues at school that need to be dealt with and prevented, but what to do right now?

We eventually got an appointment to see a paediatrician for a second opinion, and they have said possibly my son has mild autism that needs to be assessed and investigated further. I don’t know how to react to that, feel relief or cry? I still don’t completely know what to think… Am I annoyed that a previous childminder was possibly right? No, as she said it in a really unhelpful way as I held long term suspicions, but was reassured by other health professionals I was over worrying and I don’t see how she said anything that was supportive or helpful, but came across that I had a child that was possessed, not just having difficulty communicating some of his feelings. Still onwards or upwards, as still a long road to travel down yet.

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ITS TIME THAT OFSTED PUT A STOP TO ILLEGAL EXCLUSIONS AGAINST CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

This blog is just so apt right now for us, thanks for writing it

A boy with Asperger's

Yesterday was a rather productive day.

Its a day that two years ago, I longed to see.

Yesterday was all about reaching out, creating awareness and getting heard.

It was those important factors above, and a few more besides that encouraged me on the given tasks I had been set. Tasks I thought would never happen but was now about to suddenly surface.

The task was that of sharing our story with the world.

Two years ago I felt as if no one would listen. I was able to successfully bring every aspect of our story to light and people would take notice… Every aspect but this one! Now I’d been given an opportunity to change this.

It all began when the charity “Contact A Family” sent me an email with an attached survey surrounding the topic of “Illegal exclusions from school” Of course I had a lot to say…

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