I think I had a dream, no possibly a nightmare with the one I call ‘mummy nemesis’ last night. I think why I share such vitriol for her is I spotted an online plead for help from her after she was obviously in a vulnerable position after giving birth to her second child, and wanted to be relieved from her sense of isolation. You know that feeling, where your own friends are too busy and don’t give a shit, must remember it if you had a child within the last 5 years or if you didn’t you were utterly lucky. I responded to it and put her in touch with a local online mummy meet up group I recently found out about (yes I am repeating myself if you have read one of my earlier blogs), she got to the meet ups before me as she was currently on maternity leave and I was back at work, I didn’t find it easy to make it to one. However, I responded with the best intentions as I wanted to be supportive and my first few months with my lo were not the best, in fact some of it were very dark moments for me. I didn’t even have the energy to reach out, if I was not sleeping, I was attending to my baby’s needs or the few essential household chores I could fit in-between, I was a complete mombie. I tried a few local playgroups to get myself out of the house, but never found any other mothers I clicked with, well the faces kept changing and no, I didn’t click with the regulars. There were brief moments where I had nice pleasant conversations or a few words with other mothers, but nothing went any further, God sounds like dating or a relationship haha I didn’t want to appear desperate to take things any further haha perhaps my fault, but the again I am not desperate, I like my own company, but would have been nice to share the experience with someone else who was going through something similar and I did in a fragmentary way through various online forums.
Anyhow she put the dagger in after I commented on something on this online group forum and I don’t think I deserved the reaction as I tried to be sensitive, but reveal some of my experience, I moved on and refrained from using this group as a support source anymore. Occasionally I bump into her as she lives in the same area, but fortunately that is not very often.
My dream or more like a nightmare was if I had finally agreed to one of these mummy social nights out, but it appears I was with some of my family. We were sharing drinks and conversation, I happened to make a sarcastic comment about something a member of my family had said, then I heard a laugh. Our eyes met and it was ‘mummy nemesis’ sitting at the next table with a friend. It wasn’t a bitchy laugh, more she was on my wavelength with my sense of humour and that is where the nightmare begins me on a reconciliation path with ‘mummy nemesis’ I glad I woke up haha We were about the only two in the group that met up that were around the same age, and at times I think we shared some sense of generational moments, but I think that is all we had in common, just glad I woke up hehe I am also praying that her lo doesn’t end up at the same school as my son, what would be the odds? Scary!