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New Blog

Okay I did promise a new blog sometime, and it has been a long time coming. It is now the school holidays again, and to be honest it is a relief. My son’s behaviour has stabilised at school, although there has been one alleged incident on his first school excursion with his current school, but call me cynical I actually felt some of that was exaggerated for effect and the timing felt a bit off actually as received news of it shortly after we inquired why my son had received a black eye at school. I don’t think he was hit or anything, but am concerned he had an accident at school and it went unnoticed, I don’t know how it could go unnoticed as my son is like a footballer when it comes to pain and can be quite a drama queen. I was not impressed with the school’s response and deflecting attention away from this by citing an alleged incident, in fact I was starting to believe it is a bit discriminatory due to the school’s feelings they do not have the resources to manage my son’s unidentified SEN needs (again not sure if he has any additional needs or not, but it is clear he has not found the school environment one easy to transition to). Despite this setback and both his father and my annoyance with it, he has continued to progress at school on an upward curve and his hours will gradually increase when he returns to school after the holidays. I also believe he is just finally settling into his new home and surroundings.

We have spent the weekend mainly gardening, as well as my partner doing trips to see his mum, she is yo-yoing in and out of hospital again. I won’t say all how I feel about that, but it is not easy and fear how my son will react to constantly spending less time with his father, but I hope my son is more resilient than I give him credit for, but we shall see. Discovered a new local park over the weekend, a short walk from the town centre, which is handy and my son tried holiday club again today, this time success! I am very relieved and hope he has a equally good time when he goes again.

As for me it looks like some potential benign tumour growth(s) have occurred again, it is very likely that they will be benign again and this type of growth rarely signals cancer. I will be having further investigations in the summer, so keep your fingers and toes crossed. I am a little anxious about it mainly as I am not the greatest patient and didn’t really want to be going through this rigmarole again, but I know it could be worse.

Take care and wishing you a pleasant June!

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We are where we are

So we are where we are – by the way I hate that term.

After the monsoon of an Easter holiday, which my family all took their turns in covering and my son got to spend some quality time with all of us, and even tried out one morning at a new holiday club, which went so so. It was not incident free, but he admitted he was nervous to try something new without me and he seemed to be doing OK, well without an incident until a hour and half into the morning. However, looked like usual awkwardness from him, then lashing out and running away, so we have to accept there maybe some kind of autism thing going on, but clueless to triggers other than not keen on change/routine change. However, on the plus side the holiday club said he is welcome back despite his difficulties, which is nice to hear after all this time as most don’t want to know.

However, he seems to be progressing on an upward curve at school, and his teacher wants a meeting with us to update us on his progress and I hope his hours increase, but we shall see. To be honest I am struggling and feeling overwhelmed by all these people demanding our time, and this support being offered seems to feel like more breakdown inducing than helpful. My work situation is dire, will not go into details, but whether I struggle to fulfil and maintain my hours or not will not make a damn difference with the situation that we have been forced into, and yes, it was my birthday the other day. So I am another year older and unfortunately made a discovery a couple days after getting a year older that I may have another physical issue with my body recurring, just what I need. I had an endometrial polypectomy about a year before I conceived my son, yes, which probably helped a lot with letting me have a child finally, but I am just spotting similar signs again and well I am not the best patient, and rather this is not the case, but we shall see. Off to the doc I go.

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Relief or Cry?

The family dramas of recent months have been decreasing, in terms of managing my son’s behaviour and my own emotions towards them, but still more issues than I would like. I still do not see it as the ‘crisis’ my son’s previous school was alluding to, although some may disagree, but he has handled things better than some people may have expected from him. However, the continual changes to his school timetable are not helping, and yes, I know there are issues at school that need to be dealt with and prevented, but what to do right now?

We eventually got an appointment to see a paediatrician for a second opinion, and they have said possibly my son has mild autism that needs to be assessed and investigated further. I don’t know how to react to that, feel relief or cry? I still don’t completely know what to think… Am I annoyed that a previous childminder was possibly right? No, as she said it in a really unhelpful way as I held long term suspicions, but was reassured by other health professionals I was over worrying and I don’t see how she said anything that was supportive or helpful, but came across that I had a child that was possessed, not just having difficulty communicating some of his feelings. Still onwards or upwards, as still a long road to travel down yet.

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ITS TIME THAT OFSTED PUT A STOP TO ILLEGAL EXCLUSIONS AGAINST CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

This blog is just so apt right now for us, thanks for writing it

A boy with Asperger's

Yesterday was a rather productive day.

Its a day that two years ago, I longed to see.

Yesterday was all about reaching out, creating awareness and getting heard.

It was those important factors above, and a few more besides that encouraged me on the given tasks I had been set. Tasks I thought would never happen but was now about to suddenly surface.

The task was that of sharing our story with the world.

Two years ago I felt as if no one would listen. I was able to successfully bring every aspect of our story to light and people would take notice… Every aspect but this one! Now I’d been given an opportunity to change this.

It all began when the charity “Contact A Family” sent me an email with an attached survey surrounding the topic of “Illegal exclusions from school” Of course I had a lot to say…

View original post 1,685 more words

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Isolated

I never felt so alone dropping my son off at school this morning, to be honest I don’t normally do the school run, my mum has been filling in for me due to this reduced timetable for my son that the school has enforced. However, for the past couple of weeks I have been doing the Monday morning school run. My son was not overly keen to go to school this morning, but he went in without a struggle, although we have this usual routine of waving goodbye at the school classroom window before I leave through the school gates and I could see he was forcing himself to look happy. However, I hoped he would manage to cheer himself up. Considering he had an extra long weekend with us due to the school’s decision to close the school on Friday due to the wintry flurries, I thought that he had made a good effort and was trying.

To be honest I felt lost and alone as much as my son today, had Mum girly gangs swearing behind us in front of the children (probably don’t get half as much grief as we do), babies in arms and showing off barely there baby bumps, and well I just feel a million miles away from this. I don’t want to get involved either, just not bothered and do not fit in, but worry about my son fitting in. I try not to worry and carry on with my day, and get myself to work, but less than an hour into the school day his teacher calls me that they cannot cope with his behaviour again and he has been excluded from school again. My tether is threadbare and something is about to snap!

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Back to School

Half term break is over with, am I glad it has come to an end? Yes and no really, I loved spending time with my son, but was running out of steam by the end of the week thinking about interesting things to do each day. To be honest we were so busy by the first half of the week, that we needed some downtime by the end of the break. In fact, after the first day back at school, my son has come back ill and cannot go to school for the second day, hope he feels well soon, it has been one chesty cough and cold after another since January. I also dreaded the meeting with his school about my son’s behaviour as soon as he went back, but I think my son was happy about the break we had and is looking forward to the next, although seems far away at the moment. He joined the line at the beginning of the day at school with the friend he has formed an attachment to and bumped into at Softplay during the school holidays. In fact our soft play day was the worse day for us of the holidays, never tried this soft play centre before as obviously we are new to the area, but was busy to be expected, because of school holidays and the weather was crap that day, but with over a 45 minute wait to get in, registration fee, expensive entry fees with paying for yourself to get in too, the experience was a bit of a let down. Facilities were not in the best state, complete carnage, mile long queues for food as well, a bit of a mess and got shouted at by another mother for grabbing a chair for my OH to sit at a table with us, the family at the adjacent table was leaving, but another family arriving was eying up the table although I had been stood there for 5 or 10 minutes next to it sorting our things out. Anyway we eventually moved as didn’t want to be sat next to a hostile family. The best part of that day was seeing my son bump into his new school friend and seeing them enjoying playing in the role play rooms, making the most of what I could just see as carnage and a state ha!

Going back to school issues, finally met the school Senco, and a language assessment has been done on my son and he is at the level where he is suppose to be for his age group. So, his issues are not down to a language delay, I am relieved, but never thought he had a language problem. However, he obviously finds it hard to communicate and deal with his anger and frustration issues, and after talking to his previous paediatrician she is sure in her opinion there are no medical issues behind his behaviour, although has helped us get him referred again in our new area for a second opinion. So, these settling in issues at school are frustrating and at a loss still, however, recent illness is not helping his attendance or progression. Yesterday he did have a good day, when he does return to school I hope he can keep up the good work. I have left images below of some of the best bits about our week off together.

Trip to The Postal Museum, London

Trip to The Postal Museum, London

Mail Rail, The Postal Museum, London

Sorted! Play area, The Postal Museum, London

Another adventure with Ted and Churchill

Meeting Robin Hood, Nottingham

Visit to the Kitty Cafe, Nottingham

Visit to the Kitty Cafe, Nottingham

Fortress Play Area, Nottingham Castle

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Holidays

Half term holidays have begun, and to be honest the lead up to that hasn’t been great. We were hoping that my son would have started settling into his new school by now, but no, seems to have gone a step backwards and has got himself excluded for the second time round after having another emotional meltdown in their care, this time over he feels he was wrongly accused of hitting someone. Whether he hit someone or not, teacher says she didn’t witness it, but told him off anyway in her ‘we don’t hit’ kind voice apparently, I am not happy with the way it was handled. I cannot excuse his overreaction, but feel this needn’t have escalated in the way it did. Cannot see a paediatrician where we use to live anymore as they realise we are now out of area, so basically just left us to fend for ourselves. I put a complaint in, which consequently got them to pull their finger out and help us make two new referrals in our new area, one for a second opinion as the paediatrician thought he had no medical conditions such as autism. I don’t know whether he has, I agree that if he does it is not obvious. I suggested to the school as I was running around in circles at the time trying to get these referrals made that they can refer him themselves and they said they do not have enough evidence, which exasperates me, as they have enough evidence to cause us to take him home early twice and find it difficult to say something positive about my son’s time in school.

Beyond the school troubles, we are settling more into our new home and our son’s behaviour has started to calm down at home, as he was quite hyper and getting a bit disrespectful. We are continuing to go to a Gymnastics club here, which he is persevering with, it is quite different to his old one so he is getting use to it still. I think the old one was a better fit for him and he found the class structure more familiar, as there was a repetitive routine, with only slight changes. This one seems to be slightly different each week, plus there is less coaches and apparatus, but he surprises me and is giving it go, and wants to return, so that is the main thing. He loved the new local weekend playgroup, despite my partner hating it, but we are going back next weekend and my partner said he will try to be less grumpy hehe So what can I say we are not getting the behaviour that school experience with us, yes, he tests the boundaries every now and then, but not having destructive meltdowns with him and not seeing him be aggressive with other children in our care either, yes, he has less opportunity as he is our only, but we do take him to places where there are other children.

We started the half term by visiting a local farm, the sun was out, but was very cold still so we had to wrap up warm. However, he had a lovely time exploring all of what the farm had to offer.

Collage crafts at the farm

Crafts at Standalone Farm

Collage crafts at the farm

Crafts at Standalone Farm

Train ride

Play area at Standalone Farm

Action shot with daddy Sand pit fun

Sand pit fun in the sun

What a pair?

Baa!

Model railway

We look forward to having more fun together during our half term break and forget about any school troubles until our next meeting, groan!

Take care my lovelies