April Showers

30th April 2017

This month has been literally scattered with them, not literally, but metaphorically speaking and sometimes the sun has shone through in intervals in between.

My son’s behaviour at nursery has taken a turn for the worse, one of my biggest fears has been him no longer enjoying going there, so much so the nursery has requested a health visitor to monitor his behaviour at nursery and this is due next week, have no idea what the outcome will be for that. Again at home not really a big concern, yes he has little tantrums from time to time, and wants his own way at times, but what kid doesn’t? The only thing left for us to achieve really in the immediate future is him not being scared of the dark and having the confidence to sleep on his own for a whole night. Anyway, fortunately he loved his last two days at nursery, although it was a concern that I walked in on one of the biggest meltdowns I have seen him do for a while, when I collected him from nursery at the beginning of the week, but we will see how things go.

On the up side we did get his first choice school in the end, relieved as this one has wrap around care that we can work around. However, had to make sacrifices and send my son to a local faith community school. We are not church goers so wanted to send him really to a secular school, but my OH and I need to work and we had to swap our school choices around at the last minute due to lack of childcare in the area. As it is a community school there was no need to fake going to church, but just accept that is the angle and ethos they are coming from. We felt optimistic after our first parents’ information evening at the school earlier this week, but regret asking to join their Facebook parent led group as had a mother from the group was on my case most of this weekend, with a barrage of messages. That has made me have bad feelings about where I am going to send my son to school now, but will try to get pass it. I really only hope to send my son there for the first year anyway as we are hoping to buy a house soon (an ungraspable dream most of the time, but fed up of renting) and realise we can’t in our current location, so it’s no big deal that he has to go to this school one hopes as the social committee doesn’t seem to like me or one member of it at least.

Only other highlights are MIL is back home, and OH’s support is needed less by her, fingers crossed can stay that way for a bit. He has also worked his first month in a permanent job role, and he hopes to look for other opportunities as soon as his probation period is finished.

We also tried a Little Kickers taster session for my boy a week ago, although the coaches were nice, and the class was well led, our son just wasn’t really into it, although enjoyed some aspects of it. Just not enough to purchase 6 more sessions. So, on the lookout for another exercise activity for my energetic nearly 4 year old boy.

Other photo highlights from the month:

Marching Onwards

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Us enjoying Softplay before we were suppose to get social haha

The month started and ended with a bit of illness, but we did some really nice activities with our son. A lot of Softplay when we went to visit his nanny Margaret, and he finally got to meet up with his older male cousins, he hasn’t seen them since my father’s funeral and probably doesn’t remember that. We also had our first cinema trip and saw Sing, we enjoyed it, although to be honest it was the only kid friendly film I could see at the time we went. I think most of all my son enjoyed eating popcorn, although think he was getting a little tired and bored towards the end. I think our next cinema trip to see the new Peppa Pig movie might be more suitable.

We tried our first child friendly rave, Bach to Baby Event, visited the London Transport Museum, and went to a Children’s fair in Ravenscourt’s Park, please see previous blogs.

As for trying to get social with mummies that has been less successful as usual, I did meet up with a mum and her children. We did chat for two hours, and was less awkward than previous meetings, our children enjoyed playing with each other although my son is probably seen as being energetic, hyper and maybe a slightly bad influence lol However, gave up on hosting monthly weekend meets, to be honest they were a headache to organise and felt the mums were unresponsive. I do realise we all lead hectic lives, but a short message saying yay or nay isn’t too much to ask for, anyways I will leave myself open to one to one meet ups, but leave the responsibility of organising big social gatherings to someone else ha! Although yes, being pessimistic I doubt one to one meet ups will happen as most mums seem to want to meet up during the week and I am not available then.

Our son’s behaviour has been up and down at nursery this month, more down than up, but it has been difficult as my OH has just finished his temping contract and been made permanent at the place he was temping, so yes congratulations to him. However, his mum has been in hospital for the last month so he has been sharing his time between us and his mum, plus doing a long day at work. I think some of this may have had an impact on our son’s behaviour, as in he doesn’t know how to handle his emotions as he is so young and due to lack of time spent with his dad than normal, he may feel upset and angry because of this or it may just be a normal phase he is going through. Still most of the time he is with us he has been fine, but have seen some episodes of what nursery are referring to with us in recent weeks. However, the last weekend pretty much was great. Still we have parent’s evening with the nursery tonight so wish us luck.

The good news is my OH’s mum is finally due to be discharged from hospital this week, and yes my OH got a permanent job offer from the role he was temping in, he has also spoke to his new employer and agreed a later start time so we can share childcare drop offs and pick ups from now on, so my son can see a little more of his dad now. Fingers crossed my OH’s mum stays out of hospital for a while.

Spring finally feels like it is here!

Saturday 8th April 2017

Lovely day out in our favourite local park,  sun shining and the weather good, but silly me I know my Fair Celtic skin needs sun protection and now looking a bit lobster like, a nice hue of pink, ha! Damn my partner and his Greek olive skin tone, ha, but at least my boy has inherited a bit of it!

Our weekend in London

Saturday 25th to Sunday 26th March 2017

We spent a lovely weekend in London over the Mothering Sunday weekend, we went to our first Bach to Baby event in Covent Garden. Lovely event for those with under 8’s, first half of the session classical music is played by very talented musicians and each piece of music is explained, and children involvement is encouraged, children are allowed to move freely in the venue as long as the musicians are not disturbed from playing. Although surprised my son actually sat almost very still through the whole thing. Second half of the session is filled with nursery rhyme requests, which is great and my son loved that, and we will go again.

https://www.bachtobaby.com/

As we were very near the London Transport Museum, we decided after going to the Bach to Baby event we would spend the afternoon at the musuem. Great experience for little ones as lots of interactive exhibits and great little play area for children. If you get to London by train, then you get a 2 for 1 entry with a national rail voucher and the entrance ticket lasts a year.

Mother’s Day

We spent this day visiting my son’s nan in West London, unfortunately his nan was in hospital and still is at the moment. We gave her card and presents, and he lit up some of the day for the other ladies on the ward. Although knew he would get bored eventually, so had messaged a Play Cafe conveniently located opposite the hospital to ask if they would be open that day and they said yes, so thought great, I will take my son there, have lunch and let him play, while his dad can visit his mum a bit more. However, disappointment as they were shutting up, safe to say will not be going there again as can’t believe their messages. We headed into the high street to get some lunch, and enjoyed coffee cake together on Mother’s Day. We met up with his daddy again, and went to the park and there was a children’s fair in the park, which made up for the Play Cafe being closed. His favourite was trying the trampoline, think we are going to have to try one of these trampoline parks or buy one for the garden.

Worth the wait

I read somewhere once that mums make terrible friends, possibly we do. We have little time for people apart from our children, much worse at answering our phones, well I know I am, and holding lengthy conversations on them. Most of my communication these days is done by emails and short bursts of messages either via text or FB. Social arrangements may have to change at short notice due to lack of childcare or illness, either yourself or your child. However, for those friends that matter to you, you will do your best to keep in contact even if it is more sparse than it use to be.

However, making new mummy friends for myself has been a dead end street, and I have to say I am tired of deja vu experiences. I gave up on my last social today when I got the usual bailing out messages at the last minute, who knows maybe some of the excuses were genuine. To be honest, I had a beginnings of a migraine come on (been fighting it all day actually), my son has been grumpy from a suspected ear infection, woke us all up early and I thought despite the nice day I couldn’t go through with social niceties with strangers with the one mum that made an effort or didn’t ha! I do feel sorry for the mums that genuinely want to meet and apologise to any mums like that today, but those who chicken out or sign up to events until something better comes along in their dull social calendar I cannot be bothered with, fed up with hearing that repetitive record stuck in the groove and same old story. Sorry, Madonna (nice link, either mother of mothers or I am stuck in the eighties).

So done with the experiment, back to my initial thoughts on organic friendships and what will be will be, done with mummy dating. It may have been less annoying, the continual lack of effort that is if I had more time or may have actually been more depressing if I was a SAHM. However, I have a busy week of work, childcare shared between nursery and my mum, making time for son, partner and the few family members we have left. Filling our weekends with things to do with our son, seeing family and making time for old true friends of ours. My son is at a more interesting age where I have someone to talk to, I say that and mean that as it is fascinating to see and engage with them on their perspective on the world around them. I am happy he is capable of making his own playmates. Just because you meet another mummy with similar aged children doesn’t mean you or their children are going to get on. Some say keep trying you will get there, but it is a lot of pressure to put yourself under, and I resent the time and wasted effort as well as it is my family time, and the only real free time I have is weekends.

I value my family time and will concentrate my efforts on getting fitter for my family, rather than spending another minute on mummy socials.

If you have found a good supportive mummy network to be around then you are truly lucky, blessed, etc. and I am jealous, just a little bit. However, I love my own family time and quite happy just the 3 of us, it is precious, and happy with my own company too. I am a introvert and loner by nature, I am happy with just a few special people in my life. My only one worry is if at some point I loss any more support from my family as have been unlucky in recent years, an old school friend’s husband, who was considerably young recently passed away, yesterday in fact (correction: last Friday) and that scares me and another old school friend’s mum passed away last year. I can cope with losing my father, although the timing was less than perfect, my son’s first year of life and what fucked me up more is not being able to show my son to him before he died or say goodbye. Then my uncle later that same year, and it was like not again, but a life partner and your mum doesn’t bear thinking about. Don’t get me wrong dads are not less special, just personally the relationship with my own father was up and down, I feel a tinge of sadness, but other memories make me bitter too. Not good to think morbidly, but would have to cross that bridge if we ever unluckily come to it, but I hope not. Still I aim high, true friends will come to those that wait. If you are in a similar position, I am sure they will come to you, the ones worth waiting for that is.

Exactly see link below, and now time for a gulp of wine 🙂

http://www.mommyish.com/2013/07/23/8-reasons-not-to-seek-out-mom-friends/

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Truth in the last sentence, but hence why loners learn to love their own company

My not so anonymous rant!

I have seen a few messages on here lately thinking why do they bother with ‘such a name’ mum social type app? Well, it is not so much a criticism of the site or app, but more generally. I am a working mum trying to set up a few regular monthly weekend mummy socials for working mums, although I welcome all mums. As you must know if you live in a big town suitable family friendly venues get busy on the weekends, so I have asked people to confirm their attendance as it may be best for me to reserve a table. However, you either get no response or someone says why don’t you move it to Monday? I am sorry, but that annoys me like I have all the time in the world to work my schedule around all your needs, if you want a meet on a Monday, then suggest one yourself. To be honest I did do one during the week on my day off from work a few weeks back and it was no more popular than the ones I have tried to do on weekends or bank holidays. I am sorry there has been this you must have to do a softly, softly approach, some mums are shy and anxious, well I know how that feels as I suffer from nerves myself, but think some mums are being just thoughtless, ha! I don’t mind the lack of responses, it’s the ones that agree and are no shows and never say anything one way or another, it is like talking to a brick wall! Have the notifications been sorted on ‘such, and such’ a site/app? Yes, probably have and my first thoughts are probably right ha! Makes me wonder, sorry rant over, I will persevere, but bloody good sign already that this mummy social will be a success and that I will get on with these mothers, ha!

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How to host a Mummy Play date?

Bear, our absent Friend?

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Monday 20th March 2017

My son’s nursery had the idea for him to take a teddy home and record it’s weekend with us, my son was very excited about it. I had only heard about this before as my sister’s sons who are quite a bit older than my son did something similar a few weeks back. To be honest I wasn’t looking forward to it, but would go with the flow as my son seem thrilled about it. Unfortunately Friday came and my son had blew his chances with teddy by bad behaviour. I knew the nursery had to enforce some kind of discipline for his behaviour, although never get a good understanding from them what leads up to these so called ‘moments’. I know my son is not a angel all of the time, but it would be nice to know his triggers and root causes for his ‘moments’ whilst in their care. Although, I have got to point I just listen and let them offload, if it gets to a more serious point I will take action, but at present he is just acting his age. Maybe I am a softie, but thought it was a bit harsh to build this moment up and then take it away from him. Although have to say I was relieved teddy wasn’t prying into our lives that weekend as felt pretty rubbish on Saturday anyway, and the only exciting thing we did was go to the disco event on Sunday. That’s the other thing I hear these teddy escapades can get quite competitive between the parents, what a bore, huh?