The Bombshell

Firstly, I know I said in a previous blog I would try to work with the childminder, but oh well I couldn’t after the third whinge from her and the week before that she insensitively dropped the ‘autism’ bombshell on us.

What has alarmed me at first, my son said she was not around to witness the event, I thought maybe he is lying, but he is not. Although since then she has admitted each time there is an behavioural incident between the two 4 year old boys in her care she is not around. The third time I am starting to lose my patience, yes, I am aware that childminders cannot always be in the same room, but they are still suppose to be in earshot and have everything in sight to what is going on. It is obvious she doesn’t. We already said if my son continued to be disruptive in her care that we would review the contract and whether he should stay there. She decided she wanted his last day to be within her care to be the end of last week, and has been very awkward with refunding us, although we have most of the money back now.

I am in shock on the last day in her care she tells me my son was able to get hold of tent pegs and get near her baby’s head with them, yes, he could have hurt the baby’s head (1 year old child), but he could have hurt himself too. She seems to be completely oblivious to the problem that he shouldn’t have been able to get hold of them in the first place, this situation should not have arose and where was she not to notice he had got hold of these? She admits she shouted at my son that day. However, I also discover unexplained bruises on my son the next morning, and my OH’s mother is admitted back in hospital on Sunday fighting an infection/sepsis. So yes, it has been a shit week again, but have been trying to smile through it, only just.

I am left not knowing what to think about transitioning my son onto school, does he really need a referral, is something really wrong developmentally (as we have always been told no and the health visitor said she had no concerns over his social emotional development on her last visit in July) or have we just been unlucky with shit childcare? The referral is happening, but doesn’t look like anytime soon and because I have asked the childminder about how the bruises happened today she has threatened the LA (local authority) on us. Just unbelievable, but bring it on.

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Any normal parent would question unexplained bruises on their child?

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My last thoughts for tonight!

I spent an hour of my life hearing bullshit tonight, I felt I was in some weird trance parallel universe state where I had to bite my tongue. Yes, some of the things my son has done he shouldn’t do, but if people think that children innately know what is right and what is wrong then my dear you are off your trolley. We are here to teach that, and if I pay someone to look after my child I expect them to do the same, give guidance with patience and understanding. To be honest, I expect better off of them as they have had additional training and I haven’t. If you can’t then maybe you are not cut out for the job. Honestly, so much substandard childcare out there. Perhaps, we are just very unlucky, but we are yet to meet our very own super nanny.

Challenging behaviour, and then Paw Patrol

After a difficult few weeks, my son is starting to feel at home at his new childcare arrangements, which you think would be a good thing? He started to perhaps feel relax and confident, so much so that he is comfortable enough to act up. It probably hasn’t helped that his similar aged playmate has just started again after a nearly 2 month absence and my son was very excited about that, and also my son had to take a week off due to the childminder’s own illness. However, last week my son had a very bad day there and I don’t know what to think as the childminder said she thought my son was autistic. To be honest, he does not show the classic signs of it, but whether he does have any other additional needs I don’t know. The health professionals so far have said they are not worried or have any concerns, but I have now pushed for a referral as getting fed up with it and want to rule (I sometimes feel this is nonsense) anything out.
Since that day my son has pretty much been good, and no major tantrums with us, we had a few precursors to ones, but we nipped them in the bud. Nothing like he was the weekend before as we did have a challenging time with him then, but as I say I don’t think the recent change in routine had helped. I am glad his behaviour improved as we got Paw Patrol Live tickets a while back for him, which he loved and although an experience for us (she chuckles), my boy was really good at his first large capacity venue event as it was busy and there was quite a bit of waiting around. However, got his seal of approval as he only says ‘can we go again?’ to things he really likes.

What a last few weeks?

What a last few weeks? Not just for me personally, but terrorist attacks too, the world has gone mad! Simultaneously this country seems focused on wanting to nuke the world too, the one thing we need a world leader to do is have a willingness to nuke everyone, I despair?

I mean my childcare woes seem trivial in comparison, but it shook my small world up and shocked by what just seemed to me as unreasonable spitefulness. We have found replacement childcare and hoping my little one is much happier there and can continue to progress. Waiting for the NHS to still get back to us and confirm they have no worries or concerns about my son, and he is ready to start school in September.

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Enjoying himself at the playground

This weekend we tried our first story time at the local library and have to say I was impressed with my son in the end as it was his first time in a library, he sat and listened, and was very quiet. To be honest I think the volunteer would have appreciated a bit more feedback and interaction, but it was only a small group and it was only our first time attending. However, nothing like the nursery was trying to tell me he was at these kind of sessions, admittedly he may behave better for me. So, two things we are going to continue to persevere with is his preschool gymnastics class and story time at the library. We have also got more puzzles and few simple games like picture dominoes and memory games to work on his concentration. Trying out magnesium flakes in his bath a couple times of week in order to help relax him a bit more, not sure it will make any difference, but suppose to be good for skin conditions and he does have mild eczema anyway, also might try it out myself as apparently good for muscle stiffness, yep feeling my age!

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Magnesium Flakes

http://drcarolyndean.com/2010/10/should-kids-take-magnesium/

So starting to feel positive, things we need to sort out are finances for childcare (refunds and new payment, just another headache I will be glad is out of the way and done with) and toy organisation, never ending, got rid of a few bits about a month back and now feeling overwhelmed by toys once again ha! Feeling happy about our son’s new garden corner, but got to deal with those pesky slugs who are chomping on my new plants this week!

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Pesky chomping slugs!

The one thing I wasn’t anticipating was changing my son’s childcare so near to starting school and was hoping to only deal with one change, rather than two, but hey life is always ready to throw a few curveballs your way!