The Bombshell

Firstly, I know I said in a previous blog I would try to work with the childminder, but oh well I couldn’t after the third whinge from her and the week before that she insensitively dropped the ‘autism’ bombshell on us.

What has alarmed me at first, my son said she was not around to witness the event, I thought maybe he is lying, but he is not. Although since then she has admitted each time there is an behavioural incident between the two 4 year old boys in her care she is not around. The third time I am starting to lose my patience, yes, I am aware that childminders cannot always be in the same room, but they are still suppose to be in earshot and have everything in sight to what is going on. It is obvious she doesn’t. We already said if my son continued to be disruptive in her care that we would review the contract and whether he should stay there. She decided she wanted his last day to be within her care to be the end of last week, and has been very awkward with refunding us, although we have most of the money back now.

I am in shock on the last day in her care she tells me my son was able to get hold of tent pegs and get near her baby’s head with them, yes, he could have hurt the baby’s head (1 year old child), but he could have hurt himself too. She seems to be completely oblivious to the problem that he shouldn’t have been able to get hold of them in the first place, this situation should not have arose and where was she not to notice he had got hold of these? She admits she shouted at my son that day. However, I also discover unexplained bruises on my son the next morning, and my OH’s mother is admitted back in hospital on Sunday fighting an infection/sepsis. So yes, it has been a shit week again, but have been trying to smile through it, only just.

I am left not knowing what to think about transitioning my son onto school, does he really need a referral, is something really wrong developmentally (as we have always been told no and the health visitor said she had no concerns over his social emotional development on her last visit in July) or have we just been unlucky with shit childcare? The referral is happening, but doesn’t look like anytime soon and because I have asked the childminder about how the bruises happened today she has threatened the LA (local authority) on us. Just unbelievable, but bring it on.

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Any normal parent would question unexplained bruises on their child?

What a last few weeks?

What a last few weeks? Not just for me personally, but terrorist attacks too, the world has gone mad! Simultaneously this country seems focused on wanting to nuke the world too, the one thing we need a world leader to do is have a willingness to nuke everyone, I despair?

I mean my childcare woes seem trivial in comparison, but it shook my small world up and shocked by what just seemed to me as unreasonable spitefulness. We have found replacement childcare and hoping my little one is much happier there and can continue to progress. Waiting for the NHS to still get back to us and confirm they have no worries or concerns about my son, and he is ready to start school in September.

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Enjoying himself at the playground

This weekend we tried our first story time at the local library and have to say I was impressed with my son in the end as it was his first time in a library, he sat and listened, and was very quiet. To be honest I think the volunteer would have appreciated a bit more feedback and interaction, but it was only a small group and it was only our first time attending. However, nothing like the nursery was trying to tell me he was at these kind of sessions, admittedly he may behave better for me. So, two things we are going to continue to persevere with is his preschool gymnastics class and story time at the library. We have also got more puzzles and few simple games like picture dominoes and memory games to work on his concentration. Trying out magnesium flakes in his bath a couple times of week in order to help relax him a bit more, not sure it will make any difference, but suppose to be good for skin conditions and he does have mild eczema anyway, also might try it out myself as apparently good for muscle stiffness, yep feeling my age!

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Magnesium Flakes

http://drcarolyndean.com/2010/10/should-kids-take-magnesium/

So starting to feel positive, things we need to sort out are finances for childcare (refunds and new payment, just another headache I will be glad is out of the way and done with) and toy organisation, never ending, got rid of a few bits about a month back and now feeling overwhelmed by toys once again ha! Feeling happy about our son’s new garden corner, but got to deal with those pesky slugs who are chomping on my new plants this week!

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Pesky chomping slugs!

The one thing I wasn’t anticipating was changing my son’s childcare so near to starting school and was hoping to only deal with one change, rather than two, but hey life is always ready to throw a few curveballs your way!

Marching Onwards

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Us enjoying Softplay before we were suppose to get social haha

The month started and ended with a bit of illness, but we did some really nice activities with our son. A lot of Softplay when we went to visit his nanny Margaret, and he finally got to meet up with his older male cousins, he hasn’t seen them since my father’s funeral and probably doesn’t remember that. We also had our first cinema trip and saw Sing, we enjoyed it, although to be honest it was the only kid friendly film I could see at the time we went. I think most of all my son enjoyed eating popcorn, although think he was getting a little tired and bored towards the end. I think our next cinema trip to see the new Peppa Pig movie might be more suitable.

We tried our first child friendly rave, Bach to Baby Event, visited the London Transport Museum, and went to a Children’s fair in Ravenscourt’s Park, please see previous blogs.

As for trying to get social with mummies that has been less successful as usual, I did meet up with a mum and her children. We did chat for two hours, and was less awkward than previous meetings, our children enjoyed playing with each other although my son is probably seen as being energetic, hyper and maybe a slightly bad influence lol However, gave up on hosting monthly weekend meets, to be honest they were a headache to organise and felt the mums were unresponsive. I do realise we all lead hectic lives, but a short message saying yay or nay isn’t too much to ask for, anyways I will leave myself open to one to one meet ups, but leave the responsibility of organising big social gatherings to someone else ha! Although yes, being pessimistic I doubt one to one meet ups will happen as most mums seem to want to meet up during the week and I am not available then.

Our son’s behaviour has been up and down at nursery this month, more down than up, but it has been difficult as my OH has just finished his temping contract and been made permanent at the place he was temping, so yes congratulations to him. However, his mum has been in hospital for the last month so he has been sharing his time between us and his mum, plus doing a long day at work. I think some of this may have had an impact on our son’s behaviour, as in he doesn’t know how to handle his emotions as he is so young and due to lack of time spent with his dad than normal, he may feel upset and angry because of this or it may just be a normal phase he is going through. Still most of the time he is with us he has been fine, but have seen some episodes of what nursery are referring to with us in recent weeks. However, the last weekend pretty much was great. Still we have parent’s evening with the nursery tonight so wish us luck.

The good news is my OH’s mum is finally due to be discharged from hospital this week, and yes my OH got a permanent job offer from the role he was temping in, he has also spoke to his new employer and agreed a later start time so we can share childcare drop offs and pick ups from now on, so my son can see a little more of his dad now. Fingers crossed my OH’s mum stays out of hospital for a while.

In love with February

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Monday 27th February 2017

Finally got here, ready to take two days off of work and spend a bit more time with my little boy.

This month has not been as boring as last month and we have not been as ill, although MIL is back in hospital again.

We have continued to go to our favourite weekend playgroup, albeit in a different location, got to see Mr Bloom, have to say my son loved it and was a really good boy for his first theatre experience and has enjoyed himself at another friend’s birthday party.

Feeling nervous that I am going to take my son to a playgroup without my OH for support and actually attempting to do another mummy social after looking like I bottled the last one, I was ill! Still trying after a few failures haha

Tips from the mummysocial team (personally given up in April, but if you have more strength to try, then please see mummysocial tips)

https://mummysocial.com/mum-blog/the-lowdown-on-getting-social-with-mummy-social

Also thanks to all of those that visited and viewed my blog recently, keep coming back, liking and sharing thanks

The Power in Quietness

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My Nan Ada with myself and my sister, circa early 1980s

My Nan was a lady of few words, but you wouldn’t really misbehave in her presence. As her face would reveal more than words could ever do, some say I have inherited that trait, although I think she put it to better use than I could ever do. Don’t mistake me, she had flaws, generational misconceptions and was sometimes her own worst enemy, especially when it came to her health. She lived to a grand old age of 95 though, but she could have seen health professionals a bit more to improve her quality of life, especially in terms of her eyesight, she would not have a Cataracts operation, but then to be honest I squirm over anything to do with the eyes as well. However, I admire the fact she wasn’t one to interfere, how many grandparents today overstep the boundary of telling you how to raise children rather than sit back and only give out opinions and advice when asked? When I get older, I hope to have some of her spirit and learn to value there is a power in silence sometimes, that there is a time to use words and there are times to sit back to reflect, butt out or just enjoy the peace or the goings on around you, and sometimes fewer words used sparingly are more powerful than non stop talking or lecturing.

My Nan who left this world in January 2003, now one would hope reunited with her son, who left us in 2014.

Happy New Year – 2017!

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Enjoying our day out to London over Christmas 2016

Apologies, I haven’t updated my blog for sometime, probably since late October last year. However, it has been a busy time for us and also my last blog host site became uneditable, well at least from my iPhone as that is what I work off at the moment, so it has taken time to transfer all my blogs to WordPress, and the last three I had to manually type again. It may not look aesthetically the best site at the moment, but may work on that later, but I hope the content may interest some of my audience and thanks to all those who liked my FB page recently and got it up to 50 likes milestone (I think I owe one of you a stress relieving dildo), hopefully will reach 100 before the end of 2017, who knows.

Anyway, so what has been taking up all my time. As I indicated in my last few blogs my OH was made redundant towards the end of last year, so it’s been job search, job search and continually updating CV, which I have overviewed some of that process. I am pleased to say he is now in work, although not his dream role nor a permanent role yet. However, at least he is earning and the rate isn’t bad by today’s stagnant standards, he is earning over the recommended London living wage, so things are OK for us at the moment. He hopes to move on to a permanent role with increased responsibility soon. Fingers crossed that can happen.

My son had a number of childhood illnesses at the same time as my OH was out of work, I know that time of year, but he was really unlucky one after another, chickenpox, hand, foot & mouth and the worse one as I said before just a common cold, but it did end up giving him a chest infection and then the other alarming thing is when he saw the doctor they heard a heart murmur. This has caused us some worry and anxiety, he had blood tests and they came back clear, but he saw our GP again after these were taken and was feeling much better, however, she could still hear his heart murmur. So, he was referred for more tests at a heart and lung specialist hospital. This caused us some worry in the back of our minds over Christmas, but we tried to enjoy our break and make it a good one. He had all the tests done last week, ECG & Echo scan and I am relieved to say his heart is normal and healthy, and it is just an innocent heart murmur, and has been discharged. He has really been good for all the tests and is a much better patient than I am, very proud of him. We celebrated by having a family meal out and granted his request for a new toy, although going to have curb these requests now as it is going to bankrupt us.

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Christmas Day 2016

I also finally succumbed to the lurgy bug, just before the New Year, so didn’t get to finish transferring all my blogs to WordPress or work on any new ones until now. I am hoping we can look forward to 2017 with optimism as a family unit that is, although politically things look dire, my OH will break free of contracts in more ways than one this year and hopefully will move into a permanent role soon and feel happier. It’s my son’s 4th birthday this summer and he will go to big school in September, we await to hear what school he has been allocated in April, we faced a conundrum with what we put as first choice in the end, more to do with childcare and then when we heard his old preschool bestie attended the one we were going to put as second choice and changed our minds at the last minute to move it to first despite some reservations we had, so we will see what happens. Either way the top two choices are 5 minutes down the road from us, although one has slightly better hours of wraparound care than the other, then we will be completely astounded if we get allocated the last two choices haha, shouldn’t laugh as it could happen, they are not bad schools just geographically further away from us and not as practical for us going to and from work.

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Happy New Year from my Paw Patroller

For my readers, thanks for the attention and I hope my ramblings bring some comfort or laughs for you and best wishes for all your families in 2017!

Lurgy Leave?

My Parental leave/annual leave wasn’t all what I hoped for, and was filled with the lurgy. I was hoping to be a little more active in the latter weeks of my leave, meet other mums, go to playgroups and Softplay, but instead was struck down with a number of childhood illnesses, chickenpox (glad it is out of the way though, and he seemed to cope with it OK and was at home to look after him and comfort him), then hand, foot & mouth and then to be honest the worse one was the last, just a common cold and cough, that made him sick a lot, he still has the remnants of his cough left and the icy air at times makes him wheezy.

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Progress or not?

So did we set out what we wanted to achieve with this time off of work? My son is now sleeping in his own room, but the co-sleeping cycle still not really broken. We had a very successful first few nights, but then he got chickenpox and was ill with it, it just felt heartless not to cuddle him through that, then he got hand, foot & mouth, then a really bad cold and cough as I said above, so much so he was vomiting phlegm. Anyway the one real progress we have made is he is finally weaned off his soother, and he now associates it with pain because of how hand, foot and mouth made him feel. He no longer needs it to sleep, yay! Him having a sore mouth actually helped put him off of relying on it, and weaning him off of it was long overdue. He only used it at night most recently and has never been addicted to it during the day, and we have no worries about his speech. Don’t regret using them as it kept him calm as a little baby, and helped with the sleep, especially with turning the persistent catnapper into a more full well rested napper, and lots of research shows that it helps with reflux which he use to experience when he was younger, if only apparently mildly. Secondly, we started viewing primary schools, as we have to apply for our son to start reception class next year, and have a final school to view this week. However, relief, the nearest local ones left us with no negative feelings and probably going to put our nearest one as our first choice, be astounded if he doesn’t get in, but we will see.

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The search is on

Finally My OH’s job search has been a pain at times, dealing with recruitment agencies, who all have differing advice and want something different, and can end up making your head spin rather than help, but really it seems opportunities are like buses they all come at once or you wait for ages. Just fingers crossed a permanent role materialises soon. It’s been good though over the last 5 weeks that my OH has spent some quality time with my son and I think in-between the stress, they have had a really good time enjoying each other’s company.