Settling In?

4 weeks have passed by since the move, including Christmas and New Year’s festivities, although we didn’t do much for the latter, apart from tidy up the old place the best that we can, which apparently was not appreciated that it was our best effort. Almost got into a dispute about that, but after highlighting a few technicalities the owner had to back down. Honestly, wanted to charge us for moss on the outside garden wall and the alike. Anyways moving on from that saga.

Slowly unpacking more each weekend at the new place, put most of our pictures up last weekend and it is starting to look more homely, even my son said ‘it is really our home now’, like he just got it’s not just a holiday home despite all our boxes being stacked up in it with our belongings. Still yes, it is our home until we can eventually find a proper forever home one hopes.

We have been missing our old playgroup and gymnastics classes, but have tried new ones of both things in the area. The new gymnastics class is run by a smaller club in a school hall building, less coaches and equipment, but my son said he wanted to go back that is the main thing. I am hoping to get him back to a similar club in terms of equipment and more one on one coaching provided at some point, but local waiting lists are long. The playgroup was more craft based than the old one, but think my son is now ready for that as before he just wouldn’t have had the concentration. He can move around from table to table trying various crafts, my OH didn’t like it so much as it was a bit happy clappy, and it was, but I can let that go for the sake that my son liked it there and it is good for me to see how he behaves around other children other than doing something like Softplay.

This leads me on to how he has been settling into school, he was doing fine until last week. They started him on half days/morning only sessions for the first week, they told us they couldn’t see any significant concerns other than he was a bit quiet the first week (I told him he was not really quiet, but just nervous because everything is new), but then they said they wanted to try him on proper full school days, the first 3 went well it seems, but last week there were some incidents. However, which seem to coincide with me complaining to the old school about our childcare refund and their data error about having his parents down living at two separate addresses, not there is anything wrong with single mothers, but don’t insinuate wrong information and expect me to be OK with it! I believe the old school have been in touch with the new school causing trouble again, in fact I have it in writing from them that they have done so, and it just magically coincides with the downturn in my son’s behaviour. I have to say my son’s behaviour was at his worse since starting a reduced timetable at the other school, firstly I don’t think he knew whether he was coming or going, was not burning his energy off as there is only so much my nearly 70 year old mother can do with him in the winter and yes, possibly some feelings of agitation and anxiety with the move.

However, the last week or two we have noticed an upturn in his behaviour at home and think he is settling in his new home here, and not so much the ‘Crisis’ his old school were over-egging it was going to be. Rather do a move like this at his age than when he is older and has more established friendships with children. We have another glorious meeting with his new teachers this week, and hope it doesn’t spell more trouble as it often does.

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The Christmas Meltdown

I have been very quiet on the personal blog front for most of December, because we decided to move, nothing really tying us to our current abode, although the location has been convenient for work, shops, the local park, weekend playgroup and my son’s gymnastics classes, those things we will miss, but never really made any close friends or connections.

The continuing childcare issues that we have experienced here, plus now it seems more financially viable for us to live somewhere else and have a fresh start. So have been organising our relocation like mad, and yes, we must be crazy to do this just before Christmas, but didn’t want to or could afford to put it off any longer. So, wish us luck settling somewhere new and hope my son has better luck settling in his new school, I am a little nervous, but read the new school menu to my son tonight, and he said it is making him hungry, ha, so if only things could continue in that positive manner.

Sending you warmest wishes for a wonderful holiday this Christmas!

The Bombshell

Firstly, I know I said in a previous blog I would try to work with the childminder, but oh well I couldn’t after the third whinge from her and the week before that she insensitively dropped the ‘autism’ bombshell on us.

What has alarmed me at first, my son said she was not around to witness the event, I thought maybe he is lying, but he is not. Although since then she has admitted each time there is an behavioural incident between the two 4 year old boys in her care she is not around. The third time I am starting to lose my patience, yes, I am aware that childminders cannot always be in the same room, but they are still suppose to be in earshot and have everything in sight to what is going on. It is obvious she doesn’t. We already said if my son continued to be disruptive in her care that we would review the contract and whether he should stay there. She decided she wanted his last day to be within her care to be the end of last week, and has been very awkward with refunding us, although we have most of the money back now.

I am in shock on the last day in her care she tells me my son was able to get hold of tent pegs and get near her baby’s head with them, yes, he could have hurt the baby’s head (1 year old child), but he could have hurt himself too. She seems to be completely oblivious to the problem that he shouldn’t have been able to get hold of them in the first place, this situation should not have arose and where was she not to notice he had got hold of these? She admits she shouted at my son that day. However, I also discover unexplained bruises on my son the next morning, and my OH’s mother is admitted back in hospital on Sunday fighting an infection/sepsis. So yes, it has been a shit week again, but have been trying to smile through it, only just.

I am left not knowing what to think about transitioning my son onto school, does he really need a referral, is something really wrong developmentally (as we have always been told no and the health visitor said she had no concerns over his social emotional development on her last visit in July) or have we just been unlucky with shit childcare? The referral is happening, but doesn’t look like anytime soon and because I have asked the childminder about how the bruises happened today she has threatened the LA (local authority) on us. Just unbelievable, but bring it on.

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Any normal parent would question unexplained bruises on their child?

What a last few weeks?

What a last few weeks? Not just for me personally, but terrorist attacks too, the world has gone mad! Simultaneously this country seems focused on wanting to nuke the world too, the one thing we need a world leader to do is have a willingness to nuke everyone, I despair?

I mean my childcare woes seem trivial in comparison, but it shook my small world up and shocked by what just seemed to me as unreasonable spitefulness. We have found replacement childcare and hoping my little one is much happier there and can continue to progress. Waiting for the NHS to still get back to us and confirm they have no worries or concerns about my son, and he is ready to start school in September.

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Enjoying himself at the playground

This weekend we tried our first story time at the local library and have to say I was impressed with my son in the end as it was his first time in a library, he sat and listened, and was very quiet. To be honest I think the volunteer would have appreciated a bit more feedback and interaction, but it was only a small group and it was only our first time attending. However, nothing like the nursery was trying to tell me he was at these kind of sessions, admittedly he may behave better for me. So, two things we are going to continue to persevere with is his preschool gymnastics class and story time at the library. We have also got more puzzles and few simple games like picture dominoes and memory games to work on his concentration. Trying out magnesium flakes in his bath a couple times of week in order to help relax him a bit more, not sure it will make any difference, but suppose to be good for skin conditions and he does have mild eczema anyway, also might try it out myself as apparently good for muscle stiffness, yep feeling my age!

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Magnesium Flakes

http://drcarolyndean.com/2010/10/should-kids-take-magnesium/

So starting to feel positive, things we need to sort out are finances for childcare (refunds and new payment, just another headache I will be glad is out of the way and done with) and toy organisation, never ending, got rid of a few bits about a month back and now feeling overwhelmed by toys once again ha! Feeling happy about our son’s new garden corner, but got to deal with those pesky slugs who are chomping on my new plants this week!

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Pesky chomping slugs!

The one thing I wasn’t anticipating was changing my son’s childcare so near to starting school and was hoping to only deal with one change, rather than two, but hey life is always ready to throw a few curveballs your way!

Marching Onwards

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Us enjoying Softplay before we were suppose to get social haha

The month started and ended with a bit of illness, but we did some really nice activities with our son. A lot of Softplay when we went to visit his nanny Margaret, and he finally got to meet up with his older male cousins, he hasn’t seen them since my father’s funeral and probably doesn’t remember that. We also had our first cinema trip and saw Sing, we enjoyed it, although to be honest it was the only kid friendly film I could see at the time we went. I think most of all my son enjoyed eating popcorn, although think he was getting a little tired and bored towards the end. I think our next cinema trip to see the new Peppa Pig movie might be more suitable.

We tried our first child friendly rave, Bach to Baby Event, visited the London Transport Museum, and went to a Children’s fair in Ravenscourt’s Park, please see previous blogs.

As for trying to get social with mummies that has been less successful as usual, I did meet up with a mum and her children. We did chat for two hours, and was less awkward than previous meetings, our children enjoyed playing with each other although my son is probably seen as being energetic, hyper and maybe a slightly bad influence lol However, gave up on hosting monthly weekend meets, to be honest they were a headache to organise and felt the mums were unresponsive. I do realise we all lead hectic lives, but a short message saying yay or nay isn’t too much to ask for, anyways I will leave myself open to one to one meet ups, but leave the responsibility of organising big social gatherings to someone else ha! Although yes, being pessimistic I doubt one to one meet ups will happen as most mums seem to want to meet up during the week and I am not available then.

Our son’s behaviour has been up and down at nursery this month, more down than up, but it has been difficult as my OH has just finished his temping contract and been made permanent at the place he was temping, so yes congratulations to him. However, his mum has been in hospital for the last month so he has been sharing his time between us and his mum, plus doing a long day at work. I think some of this may have had an impact on our son’s behaviour, as in he doesn’t know how to handle his emotions as he is so young and due to lack of time spent with his dad than normal, he may feel upset and angry because of this or it may just be a normal phase he is going through. Still most of the time he is with us he has been fine, but have seen some episodes of what nursery are referring to with us in recent weeks. However, the last weekend pretty much was great. Still we have parent’s evening with the nursery tonight so wish us luck.

The good news is my OH’s mum is finally due to be discharged from hospital this week, and yes my OH got a permanent job offer from the role he was temping in, he has also spoke to his new employer and agreed a later start time so we can share childcare drop offs and pick ups from now on, so my son can see a little more of his dad now. Fingers crossed my OH’s mum stays out of hospital for a while.

In love with February

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Monday 27th February 2017

Finally got here, ready to take two days off of work and spend a bit more time with my little boy.

This month has not been as boring as last month and we have not been as ill, although MIL is back in hospital again.

We have continued to go to our favourite weekend playgroup, albeit in a different location, got to see Mr Bloom, have to say my son loved it and was a really good boy for his first theatre experience and has enjoyed himself at another friend’s birthday party.

Feeling nervous that I am going to take my son to a playgroup without my OH for support and actually attempting to do another mummy social after looking like I bottled the last one, I was ill! Still trying after a few failures haha

Tips from the mummysocial team (personally given up in April, but if you have more strength to try, then please see mummysocial tips)

https://mummysocial.com/mum-blog/the-lowdown-on-getting-social-with-mummy-social

Also thanks to all of those that visited and viewed my blog recently, keep coming back, liking and sharing thanks

The Power in Quietness

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My Nan Ada with myself and my sister, circa early 1980s

My Nan was a lady of few words, but you wouldn’t really misbehave in her presence. As her face would reveal more than words could ever do, some say I have inherited that trait, although I think she put it to better use than I could ever do. Don’t mistake me, she had flaws, generational misconceptions and was sometimes her own worst enemy, especially when it came to her health. She lived to a grand old age of 95 though, but she could have seen health professionals a bit more to improve her quality of life, especially in terms of her eyesight, she would not have a Cataracts operation, but then to be honest I squirm over anything to do with the eyes as well. However, I admire the fact she wasn’t one to interfere, how many grandparents today overstep the boundary of telling you how to raise children rather than sit back and only give out opinions and advice when asked? When I get older, I hope to have some of her spirit and learn to value there is a power in silence sometimes, that there is a time to use words and there are times to sit back to reflect, butt out or just enjoy the peace or the goings on around you, and sometimes fewer words used sparingly are more powerful than non stop talking or lecturing.

My Nan who left this world in January 2003, now one would hope reunited with her son, who left us in 2014.