Feelings in reverse order (Thursday 21st June, the longest day literally until now)
Want some kind of life change, knowing that some things can’t change, one thing isn’t changing quickly enough and then after getting through completing something that can bring on a change that I am disatisfied with, but starting to already feel disatisfied with the potential new thing ha in the words of Bono & U2 ‘I still haven’t found what I am looking for’ ha
A few moments peace in our garden earlier today, when we first moved to the property it was the thing I liked least about the new place, but with a few changes and things added feels much better and actually is relaxing to be in. Far from perfect, but better.
Thanks for those that keep visiting the page and equally to the unlikers, ha had a better night’s sleep last night compared to last couple of nights and strange experience from the night before. Shadow people in the form of what I initially thought was my son, childlike form, neurological phenomen or paranormal who knows? Either way it was unsettling, she’s nuts you think? Yep, but who cares?
Drained, hoping to get more sleep, nice to see one of my son’s dreams come true today and he got to see his favourite steam train, the Flying Scotsman go pass our local station today. He also had a great gymnastics session, despite the initial setback of changing clubs earlier in the year. I actually think he has progressed lots. Just need to work on my current mindset, which feels pretty low and possibly change jobs at some point
I did manage to hold it together for the afternoon, son enjoyed his garden time and play in his mud pit, water table, chalking and watering the plants. However, just as depression is difficult in the sunshine as in the expection should be you are jolly and happy, night times are hard to switch off
Apologies for no posts for a while, well nothing of real substance as of late. I am struggling with anxiety and slight depression again, although not as bad as I experienced a good few years ago. My son’s schooling has not helped, and although I think he is making huge improvements and progress myself. Yet, I got a whiney email from his teacher a few days ago about my son being unsettled, despite informing them on Monday he had just recovered from an earache and could they be mindful about that. Even perhaps get the school nurse to have a look at it, and yes, he was well enough to go as he had no temperature and had been giving him pain relief for it, and on top of that dealing with the workplace stress and my MIL being back in hospital again after the third time within the last month it has all been too much and it’s setting me back. You could say I am whining too, but can only take so much and having a break. Have to say it’s easier to feel negative in the winter, when the weather is sunny the two things just don’t go together.