Less judgement, more compassion!

Had enough of the working mum guilt trip!

Had enough of the scrutiny about how much time do we spend with our child questions?

Like do we even spend time at the weekends or school holidays with our child? Of course we do, and we would spend even more time if we could, but there is such a thing as running out of leave and money.

Had enough of the judgement, don’t burden your son with money worries, no we don’t, but he needs to know the real world. He cannot have everything he wants, there is no magic money tree, mummy and daddy works not because we don’t want to spend time with our son, but because we need to provide. He needs to know that!

He also knows that some people have it harder in life than we do, and we are lucky and I hope in time we teach our son something called compassion for those that are not as fortunate, not pity, but compassion. I think right now he is too self absorbed to take it in, but he is only 5, but he knows that there are richer and poorer people out there that struggle more.

He also needs to know his outbursts may not be his fault, but they upset people none the less, but will not have him painted as some remorseless monster! He is just a small boy having a difficult time right now and shame on those that judge, when they are suppose to help!


Sometimes feels like we are actually back at school, rather than my son

After having a really positive weekend last week and starting to feel quite upbeat about things, now feeling deflated again. I had a difficult time with a certain colleague at work and not sure why they were behaving in such a rude manner, but asked for this particular job to be reallocated as I could no longer work with the person and to be honest I am still a little fuming over their tone. However, person is leaving for another job, so end of story dealing with it, but just was not in the best mental place to deal with someone being a twat for no reason with everything that has been going on for us.

My OH’s mum is still in hospital and after 2 weeks of confusingly not knowing what action the hospital has decided to take, they finally know she has broken her hip and still confused why it has taken 2 weeks to discover that, and now his mum is waiting for a operation, which will still take a good deal of time to recover from. I have to say the in and out hospital trips that have been happening since the beginning of this year have been exhausting for all of us.

Then having my son’s nursery inability to look after my son and manage his behaviour has been disappointing as well. I hoped he was getting on well with the new childminder and he seemed to be, the drop offs have got a lot easier and no more dramatic goodbyes. However, this week his pal from his gymnastics sessions has started again, although haven’t seen the boy at the sessions lately.

On the same wavelength these two, but yes, my lo does need the learn the art of being kind to his friends at times

My son was very excited to have some similar aged company at last with him at the childminders. Although I think this week he has been feeling a little too at home at the childminders, relaxed and himself and over excited about having a playmate, which is a good thing, but with that he shows both his good and bad sides to his personality. I finally get told again that some of his behaviour is unacceptable, her daughter has been dying to tell tales on my son for weeks, but being shushed by her mother and I think perhaps my son irritates the 8 year old girl, I mean I don’t suppose a 4 year old boy and 8 year old girl have much in common. I don’t know how to take it, but as far as the health visitor is concerned there is nothing to worry about his behaviour and he is just displaying normal behaviour for his age. Yes, he can be a monkey at times and some of it is boundary seeking, but most of it is manageable and he is not constantly embarrassing us when we are out with him. It’s disappointing as he has started to enjoy going to the new childminder, and I know he does like the other little boy that is attending, but I am starting to get fed up with those that are fed up of looking after my son because yes, he isn’t always an easy child, but he doesn’t have special needs or any indication that he has. I am not withdrawing him for another childcare provider and will try to work with her, and realise soon he will be spending more time at school and hope that is good for him. The school transition sessions have gone OK, again no dramatic tearful goodbyes, so that is something, he has seemed very happy upon collection, but don’t know fully what he has been like at every session as we only got to witness the first one. I don’t know if he got over excited or did any inappropriate things, but hoping he responded well, but don’t know until we start to get more feedback from the teachers.

Anyway it is a shame as I was just starting to get optimistic and now just feel doubtful, but we are doing our best by our son, we regularly go to playgroups to socialise him with children his age, taken him to story time sessions at the library to work on getting him to sit still and interact with that, preschool gymnastic sessions, helping him to follow instructions, participate in both larger and smaller group activities (he responds better to smaller group activities usually at the moment), wait turns, sit still and develop patience. We walk almost everywhere and try to do lots of physical activity either by going to soft play or outdoor play at playgrounds and parks and swimming when we can. We read to our son every bedtime ourselves.

Marble Reward Jar, hoping this helps

We are trying to only reward him for good behaviour, have even now got a marble reward jar to help my son visualise when he is being good better. He has always enjoyed filling up jars with coins, so I thought this would be a more simpler way to do it than our previous star chart award system, which was just getting too exhausting for us too keep up with and we’ll probably put that away for when he is a bit older. I don’t know what else we can do, but keep re-emphasising how he should act, but sometimes this parenting lark feels like we going back to school and being told off for something we cannot control while we are not there to supervise.


Happy New Year – 2017!

Enjoying our day out to London over Christmas 2016

Apologies, I haven’t updated my blog for sometime, probably since late October last year. However, it has been a busy time for us and also my last blog host site became uneditable, well at least from my iPhone as that is what I work off at the moment, so it has taken time to transfer all my blogs to WordPress, and the last three I had to manually type again. It may not look aesthetically the best site at the moment, but may work on that later, but I hope the content may interest some of my audience and thanks to all those who liked my FB page recently and got it up to 50 likes milestone (I think I owe one of you a stress relieving dildo), hopefully will reach 100 before the end of 2017, who knows.

Anyway, so what has been taking up all my time. As I indicated in my last few blogs my OH was made redundant towards the end of last year, so it’s been job search, job search and continually updating CV, which I have overviewed some of that process. I am pleased to say he is now in work, although not his dream role nor a permanent role yet. However, at least he is earning and the rate isn’t bad by today’s stagnant standards, he is earning over the recommended London living wage, so things are OK for us at the moment. He hopes to move on to a permanent role with increased responsibility soon. Fingers crossed that can happen.

My son had a number of childhood illnesses at the same time as my OH was out of work, I know that time of year, but he was really unlucky one after another, chickenpox, hand, foot & mouth and the worse one as I said before just a common cold, but it did end up giving him a chest infection and then the other alarming thing is when he saw the doctor they heard a heart murmur. This has caused us some worry and anxiety, he had blood tests and they came back clear, but he saw our GP again after these were taken and was feeling much better, however, she could still hear his heart murmur. So, he was referred for more tests at a heart and lung specialist hospital. This caused us some worry in the back of our minds over Christmas, but we tried to enjoy our break and make it a good one. He had all the tests done last week, ECG & Echo scan and I am relieved to say his heart is normal and healthy, and it is just an innocent heart murmur, and has been discharged. He has really been good for all the tests and is a much better patient than I am, very proud of him. We celebrated by having a family meal out and granted his request for a new toy, although going to have curb these requests now as it is going to bankrupt us.

Christmas Day 2016

I also finally succumbed to the lurgy bug, just before the New Year, so didn’t get to finish transferring all my blogs to WordPress or work on any new ones until now. I am hoping we can look forward to 2017 with optimism as a family unit that is, although politically things look dire, my OH will break free of contracts in more ways than one this year and hopefully will move into a permanent role soon and feel happier. It’s my son’s 4th birthday this summer and he will go to big school in September, we await to hear what school he has been allocated in April, we faced a conundrum with what we put as first choice in the end, more to do with childcare and then when we heard his old preschool bestie attended the one we were going to put as second choice and changed our minds at the last minute to move it to first despite some reservations we had, so we will see what happens. Either way the top two choices are 5 minutes down the road from us, although one has slightly better hours of wraparound care than the other, then we will be completely astounded if we get allocated the last two choices haha, shouldn’t laugh as it could happen, they are not bad schools just geographically further away from us and not as practical for us going to and from work.

Happy New Year from my Paw Patroller

For my readers, thanks for the attention and I hope my ramblings bring some comfort or laughs for you and best wishes for all your families in 2017!